Going in Grace

Today, we’re diving into a topic that is both deeply spiritual and deeply practical: forgiveness. And I want to start by saying this—forgiveness is not an emotion. It’s a decision. A decision we make in obedience to God, not because we feel like it, but because we trust Him.

Let’s go straight to the Word. In Matthew 18:21–22 (NKJV), Peter comes to Jesus with a question many of us have probably asked in our own way: “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’”

Jesus wasn’t giving Peter a math problem. He was revealing the heart of the Father. Forgiveness isn’t about keeping score—it’s about keeping our hearts free. But Jesus didn’t stop there. He went on to tell a parable that should shake us to our core.

Let’s read Matthew 18:23–27 (NKJV): “Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.”

That’s us. We are that servant. We owed a debt we could never repay. And Jesus, in His mercy, forgave us. But the parable continues.

Matthew 18:28–30 (NKJV): “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.”

The contrast is staggering. He was forgiven a mountain of debt, but refused to forgive a molehill. Now listen to how Jesus ends this story.

Matthew 18:32–35 (NKJV): “Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”

That’s not a suggestion. That’s a warning. Forgiveness is not optional—not if we want to live free. Jesus makes it clear: if we withhold forgiveness, we open ourselves up to torment. Bitterness, anxiety, sleepless nights, broken relationships—these are some of the tormentors that come when we refuse to release others.

But here’s the good news: with God, we can do all things. Even this. Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) says: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That includes forgiving people who have hurt us deeply. It doesn’t mean we pretend it didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean we excuse the behavior. And it certainly doesn’t mean we put ourselves back in harm’s way.

Let me be clear: forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness is between you and God. Reconciliation requires repentance and safety. You can forgive someone and still set boundaries. You can forgive someone and not be their best friend. You can forgive someone and still say, “I’m not going to allow that behavior in my life again.”

So how do we forgive when it feels impossible?

Here are some thoughts:
1. Start with prayer. Ask God to help you want to forgive. He honors honest hearts.
2. Speak it out loud. Say, “I choose to forgive [name] for [what they did].” Even if your emotions don’t line up yet.
3. Release the debt. Stop rehearsing what they owe you. Let God be the Judge.
4. Bless, don’t curse. Luke 6:28 (NKJV) says: “Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.”
5. Repeat as needed. Forgiveness is a decision, but sometimes we have to reaffirm it daily until our hearts catch up.

Forgiveness is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s not letting someone off the hook—it’s taking yourself off the hook of bitterness and torment. And it’s not something you do alone. Jesus, who forgave you of everything, will empower you to forgive others. Let’s be people who live free. Who forgive quickly. Who trust God with our pain.

Thanks for spending these minutes with me. If this encouraged you, share it with someone who needs a reminder that forgiveness is possible—and powerful. Until next time, walk in grace and truth.

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