Going in Grace

Brandi Stover (00:38.03)
I hope you are ready to go because the Bible says it best. Let's jump right in. Matthew 5:33 through 37 in the New King James Version says, again, you have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord. But I say to you, do not swear at all, neither by heaven, for it is God's throne, nor by the earth, for it is his footstool, nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your own head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your yes be yes, and your no, no. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

This passage of scripture talks about Jesus instructing people to stop taking oaths, adding verbiage and statements as a way to add greater weight to their commitments. I want to hone in on verse 37, because there is a powerful message for each of us, no matter what role we play. Whether we're in the role of employee, employer, friend, spouse, child, coach, whatever it is, we should meditate on Jesus' word and see how this applies to our daily situations.

In the New King James Version, Matthew 5.37 says, but let your yes be yes and your no, no, for whatever is more than these is from the evil one. In the Amplified Bible, it says, but let your statement be yes, yes, or no, no. A firm yes or no. Anything more than that comes from the evil one. Matthew 5.37 in the New Living Translation says, just say a simple yes, I will, or no, I won't. Anything beyond this is from the evil one. Matthew 5.37 in the Complete Jewish Bible says, just let your yes be a simple yes and your no a simple no. Anything more than this has its origin in evil.

Wow. Though this passage in its context is referring specifically to when people would take religious oaths, there is something applicable in all situations where we need to make a decision and communicate that decision to others. We should keep it simple and let our yes mean yes, our no mean no, and not give into the temptation to lie, exaggerate, or expound. I'm going to provide you with a couple of scenarios. I want you to consider how you would respond in these situations.

Scenario one. You've been studying all week and preparing for a science presentation in school. Though there was an option to work in groups, you opted to work solo on the project. Your friend, a great friend, but a known procrastinator approaches you three days before the deadline when you've nearly completed the work to ask you if the two of you can work together on the project. Scenario two. You have plans for Saturday. They involve a couch, your favorite blanket, some popcorn, and a good movie. After nearly a month of late night meetings, in order to hit a deadline at your employer, you finally have a weekend to yourself. Your friend who is now throwing a last minute event says this is very important to them.

Brandi Stover (05:04.664)
and they ask you if you will come. In these scenarios, I'm providing relational tension on purpose because it is the nuance of relationships that often create more opportunities for us to complicate things with elaborate responses. We tell ourselves we don't want to hurt others' feelings, so we lie instead. In actuality by lying, which is a major issue because it's a sin and it betrays God's nature in us because we are to be honest as he is honest. What we're actually choosing to do is value our feelings, our feelings of popularity, our feelings of false peace more than the other person. It may not be great for us to hear this about ourselves and I say ourselves, cause I'm challenged with it too.

The truth is that when our yes and no is not simple, it is less about the other person and it's more about us. In the case of the school project and the invitation to a last minute event, would we be able to say yes and it be pure without annoyance and resentment in our heart? How many times have we said yes to things with our mouth, but everything else in us says no?

We put ourselves in a position to put on a performance, pretending our attitude is right. If in these scenarios we choose to say no, would we be able to do so without lying? A lie is anything done with the intent to deceive. That means even if what I say is true, it could be a lie if I am saying it with the intent to deceive you. Let me give you an example.

Let's say that I tell my friend who wants to work on this science project that I have a meeting on Thursday knowing that she's going to think we can't connect in order to get the work done in time to submit the project. If my meeting on Thursday would not prevent me from working on that science project with my friend, however I said that to help her think that it would, I'm lying, even if it's true,

Brandi Stover (07:30.968)
that I have a meeting on Thursday. See why Jesus tells us to keep it simple and how by not doing so, we easily get into deploying evil tactics like deception. In both these scenarios, could we keep it simple in our responses? Even if we are compelled for additional information, as though we owe an explanation, which we do not. Are we able to hold tension and take up space for our own thoughts and needs? This is something that we really need to consider because we have been called to a simple life. Yes, it's supposed to mean yes. And no, it's supposed to mean no. And not just with our mouth. Our hearts are supposed to align with our yes. Our hearts are supposed to align with our no.

We're supposed to be good enough at boundary setting that our no doesn't require further explanation unless we choose to go there. And When we go there, we should do it in honesty and with transparency. On going in grace, we're digging into how we can make the application of God's word practical in our lives. We really want to make a positive impact in our lives and the lives of others. Wouldn't it be a positive impact for us all if we walked in greater truth and real peace with one another, not the false peace that's built on stuffed emotions and pretense.

Jesus compels us to keep it simple in Matthew 11:29 through 30, New King James Version. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Let's take the next step towards walking in truth and simplicity by deciding today that our yes means yes and our no means no.