Going in Grace

Brandi Stover (00:17)
Today, we're diving into the topic of love, but not just any love. We're talking about love God's way, the profound and selfless agape love. Recently, I visited a jewelry store and during my conversation, I learned that the employee I was speaking to had to build their vacation schedule around the holiday season in the fourth quarter of the year through Valentine's Day.

(00:44)
I was momentarily shocked. I have always known that holidays at the end of the year are a big commercial success with many people going into debt and forgetting the true meaning of the season. I didn't know Valentine's Day was also a big deal. Don't get me wrong, I see the cards, candy and stuffed animals in stores, but I was at a jewelry store having my wedding bands inspected. Enough people are making these kinds of investments this time of year that workers cannot take some time off after a draining end of year? I admit, I was surprised.

I know that this is likely due to my upbringing where Valentine's Day was never a big deal. It was an activity at school so we could get some candy and that's about it. This experience got me thinking. I wonder if we really understand love.

There is nothing wrong with celebrating love, but how many people leave this time of year considering what they don't have instead of what they do? I can imagine with the focus on be mine and sweetheart type love, many may fall into discontentment. Our common understanding of love falls short in helping us understand love God way.

(02:05)
Love, first and foremost, is God. God does not have love, he is love. 1 John 4 16 in the New International Version says, and so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them. Real love is and comes from God.

The love often celebrated during Valentine's Day is a far cry from the agape love God calls us to. The commercialized notion of love that we see in stores and media around Valentine's Day is heavily influenced by the Greco-Roman concept of love, which tends to be self-serving and romanticized.

Many people give gifts at this time of year to show their affection and appreciation. Some give gifts simply to keep the peace because their significant other will cause a fit if they don't. It's also worth noting that sometimes these gestures are driven by the expectation of receiving something in return. This can lead to a more transactional approach to love rather than a genuine selfless expression of care.

In contrast, agape love is the highest form of love. It is characterized by selflessness, kindness, and it wants only the best for others. This is the kind of love that God has for us and the love that he calls us to extend to others. In 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 7, New Living Translation, the apostle Paul beautifully describes this love.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. Isn't that a beautiful way to characterize our God?

(04:38)
While the idealized and often sensual love we see celebrated around Valentine's Day is driven by personal desire and satisfaction, agape love is about seeking the best for others without expecting anything in return. It's about valuing people for who they are and loving them as God loves us. Let's take a closer look at some key aspects of agape love and how we can embody this love in our life.

Agape love is sacrificial love. Agape love is exemplified by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. In John 15, 13, Jesus tells us, greater love has no one than this than to lay down one's life for his friends. We see that agape love is broader. It's not about romance. It's about sacrifice and dedication. True love involves putting others' needs before our own and being willing to make sacrifices for their wellbeing. God expects this behavior among spouses, friends, and communities. It's not limited to the one person we've decided is our Valentine. To love God's way, we must broaden our focus. Now please remember, this is based on all things being equal. God also doesn't call us to be a doormat.

Agape love is unconditional love. God's love for us is unconditional, meaning it doesn't depend on our action or worthiness. Romans 5:8 reminds us, but God demonstrates his own love toward us and that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. We are called to love unlovely people in the same way. We have to be willing to love without expecting anything in return. When we give our gifts, are we doing so with no expectation of either a gift or certain reactions or experiences in return? If not, then this encourages us to love God's way.

Agape love is forgiving love. Agape love keeps no record of wrongs. It is forgiving and seeks reconciliation. Colossians 3:13 encourages us to bear with one another and forgive one another as Christ forgave us. If we approach love by keeping score and deciding whether we give or withhold love, then we should consider God's instructions afresh.

Agape love is patient and kind love. As Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13, love is patient and kind. It is slow to anger and quick to show compassion. This means showing grace and understanding even in difficult situations. We simply cannot get around how selfless God's kind of love is.

Agape love is love in action. Agape love is not just a feeling. It is demonstrated through our action. 1 John 3:18 New Living Translation says, Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other. Let us show the truth by our actions. Look for opportunities to serve others and show love through your deeds and remember that this is a daily goal. 1 John 3:17, New Living Translation says, if someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion, how can God's love be in that person? It takes effort and action to love God's way.

(08:32)
As we head into this time where a form of love is being celebrated, let's remember that true love, agape love, is not about grand gestures or romantic sentiments. It's about selflessness, sacrifice, and unconditional care. Let's shift our focus from the commercialized notion of love to the profound and transformative love that God offers us. Whenever you're tempted to conform to the worldly view of love, consider these takeaways.

One, love sacrificially. Be willing to put others needs before your own. Two, love unconditionally. Extend love without expecting anything in return. Three, forgive freely. Let go of grudges and seek reconciliation. Four, practice patience and kindness. Show grace and compassion in all situations. And five, love in action. Demonstrate your love through your deeds. Thank you for joining me. If you found this discussion meaningful, please share it with others who also might need a reminder of what true love looks like. Until next time, may you experience the agape love of God in every aspect of your life.